Dakota Johnson
I Went Ape-Sh*t On My Friend’s Ex
… Literally!!!💩
Published
Dakota Johnson’s the queen of savage rid-or-die energy — because she once mailed a gallon of gorilla poop to her friend’s ex.
Yup, you heard right — Dakota spilled the dirty tea on Vanity Fair’s Lie Detector Video Series, saying she figured the guy wouldn’t be watching anyway … so she just confessed to ordering a delivery of some grade-A, stinky revenge.
Dakota said the messy deed went down a few years back … and when asked where one would even go to cop a similar gift, she didn’t miss a beat — pointing folks to the website she ordered from, which has since rebranded itself, swapping in the word “poop” for “sh*t.”
The actress was low-key impressed with the menu, saying you have your pick of doody, offered in a few different quantities — the site serves up steaming options from cows, elephants … and of course, gorillas.
Dakota was even asked if she knew where to order pubic crabs — and while she swore she hadn’t gone that far down the revenge rabbit hole, she looked a little sheepish … teasing that if she did spill, someone might find out something they really shouldn’t.
Clearly, according to Dakota, revenge really is a dish best dumped. 💩